


I love you

by johannastjernfelt



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Fluff, pure fluff, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 05:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16570181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johannastjernfelt/pseuds/johannastjernfelt
Summary: Sirius finally lets out those three little words that mean everything, but Remus will not believe it.





	I love you

Sirius laid awake, looking at the boy lying next to him in the bed. He stroked his fingers repeatedly through the silky, tawny locks, and as he noticed how peaceful and calm the boy looked in his arms, he couldn’t help but smile. Remus almost always had an expression of worry on his face, although sometimes it was so faint that no one noticed. Sirius noticed though. He had always noticed. Even when they were just little kids and Sirius had no idea what might have caused the worry, he noticed. 

 

The warmth of Remus’ body pushed itself through the small space in between them, quickly flooding through Sirius as well. As the two boys laid beside each other - one wide awake, and the other apparently asleep - there was a moment, and Sirius was filled up with emotion. 

 

He had known it forever, but never had he dared to even think about giving voice to it. The words were too meaningful. He couldn’t just blurt it out, and yet he found himself struggling not to blurt it out at that very moment. Even though it seemed like a terrible moment - Remus was asleep for Godric’s sake - something inside of Sirius was bursting, and before he knew it, the words had left his mouth. 

 

“I love you”

 

For a few seconds, it seemed like the world had stopped spinning, but then something brought Sirius back to reality. The boy in his arms stirred a little, and shortly after that his eyes opened, letting amber find black. To his own surprise, Sirius wasn’t at all scared when he first saw the amber orbs. Only when he recognized that the calm expression had left Remus’ expression did he react. 

 

“I love you,” he said again, letting all of his emotions be shown in his eyes. Remus merely stared at him, looking petrified. Sirius was beginning to think he had messed up, but he couldn’t stop now. Instead, he just kept looking deeply into Remus’ eyes, hoping that the other boy would pick up on what he was trying to express. 

 

After staring at Sirius for a little too long, Remus blinked several times, before responding. “But… Why?”

 

Now it was Sirius’ time to take on an incredulous expression. “ _ Why?” _ he repeated, completely dumbfounded. Remus’ cheeks flared up a bit and he quickly tore his eyes away from Sirius. 

 

“I just… I don’t understand why anyone would love someone like me… Take a bit of a liking to, maybe, but  _ love? _ I don’t see how that’s possible.” He paused a bit, sneaking a glance at Sirius, who was watching him intently. “I can’t see what there is to love”

 

“ _ Remus _ ... what is there  _ not _ to love?” With a gentle touch, Sirius placed his hand under Remus’ chin, lifting his head to face his own. “I mean, just look at you for one thing! You are beautiful, Moony.” A distinct blush presented itself over Remus’ scarred face, and Sirius could see how he struggled with not tearing his eyes away. “Hey, I mean it. You are fucking  _ hot. _ But that’s not why I love you. I love you because… Okay, so whenever we pull a prank you have this glued on expression of dislike, but underneath there is this wonderful gleam of mischief. I love that. And you always help us plan the pranks too, because you secretly love it - Don’t look at me like that we both know you do. Anyway, uhm… Right,  I love you because.. you refuse to sit on anything but the floor when doing research, and when you focus really hard you furrow your brows a bit and your tongue peeks out of your mouth. And I love how excited you get when you’re reading, or learning about something ‘really interesting’. I love how you can make me melt with just a kiss, or even a touch. I love you when you’re barely keeping it together before the full moon, but still you find the strength to worry if any of your friends are feeling bad - do you even know how  _ strong _ you are? I mean mentally strong. It is almost inhumane! Not inhumane like, during full moons, though I do love you then too… I love running around in the forbidden forest with you, seeing you relish at the freedom. And… I love you right after the full moon when all of your filters disappear and you just say whatever the hell you want - but I also love you when your filters are fully activated, and I can practically  _ see _ how you sort out all the bad words as you’re speaking. Oh, that reminds me - I love the way you wince whenever someone speaks or writes with wrong grammar or uses a word in a wrong way, and I love it when you just can’t help but correct those mistakes. I love how your face flares up whenever I kiss you or hold your hand or anything in front of others, even if it’s just James and Peter. I love you, Remus Lupin. There’s not a single thing about you that I don’t love with every last cell of me.” 

 

A silence fell between the two boys, both of them looking deeply into the other’s eyes. Sirius’ eyes flicked back and forth between the two amber ones in front of him, trying to find some sort of sign indicating what the other boy was thinking. Sirius was nervous. Nervous that he had messed up by saying all of that, that this would be the end of their relationship, but most of all; he was nervous because he couldn’t tell what Remus was thinking. It was usually detectable in his eyes, but at that moment Remus’ eyes was unreadable to Sirius. 

 

“I’m sorry, Moony…” said Sirius, finally breaking the unbearable silence. “I should’nt’ve said anything. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.” He fell silent again, though keeping his eyes away from Remus. Everything had felt so perfect - and now it was ruined. Closing his eyes for a moment to force his tears back, he took a deep breath and continued in spite of himself. “I do love you though.” After a few more moments of extremely tense silence, Sirius let out a sigh and started getting up to move to his own bed. Before he could get out of the bed, however, he got stopped by a soft hand closing around his wrist. Sirius turned his head slowly back around, eventually looking straight into those magical amber eyes. He did this quite reluctantly, not sure if he actually wanted to face the personification of his rejection. 

 

“Say it again.” The words were small. Not quiet, they just… didn’t take up as much space as words usually did. They were small. 

 

For a few seconds after the small words were uttered, Sirius couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening, so he just stared back at Remus in wonder. Hadn’t he just said something? ...  _ ‘Say it again.’ _ Right. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Not that, muppet.”

 

Once again, Sirius was dumbfounded. Then he understood. “Oh, right…  _ that. _ ”

 

“Right.  _ That. _ ”

 

Somehow, it was much harder to say now that he was fully aware of the fact that Remus was awake. When he first said it, he had thought that he was asleep, and then he was just rambling without thinking much at all. Now, he was staring right into his eyes, and found that his heart had started beating very intensely. 

 

Acting in the moment, Sirius leaned forward and pressed a soft, delicate kiss on Remus’ lips. It lasted for barely more than a second, but still he felt his body begin to melt as Remus responded to the kiss. Sirius laid his head back on the pillow, taking a few seconds to regain himself before once again looking directly into Remus’ eyes, trying to convey all of his feelings just through his eyes. 

 

“I  _ love _ you.”

 

Remus looked back at Sirius with the same intensity, and then the corners of his mouth twisted ever so slightly upward. 

 

“I love you too.”


End file.
